"Go back to sleep."I went back to sleep and I didn't wake up again until I heard the sound of an electric razor.I opened my eyes and saw her standing ...ver me with the electric razor.I asked. Why am I tied up? And what are you doing with that electric razor?"She laughed, and said. "This is all part of the surprise I've been planning for you."I laughed and said. "You mean, you really didn't by that rope for a clothes line."She laughed, and said. "Oh, you're so perceptive."Then she smiled and. The teacher decides to leave out “C” for obvious reasons and asks for a word beginning with “D”. Johnny calls out “Dwarf”. The teacher congratulates him and asks what a Dwarf is. Johnny replies “A short arsed cunt with massive bollocks and a cock that touches the floor!”A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where. More

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