But at the same time he had lost faith in people, in girls especially.He hadn't ever called her. He hoped it would send the message that he didn't nee... her. He resented her in a way. She was so full of it, he thought. He hurt inside still, especially when he thought about how she'd told him they could be friends. They never talked though. They barely acknowledged each other. She wasn't mean to him, and she said hi when she saw him, but it didn't seem like she was really making an effort to be. He realized that he wanted "Alice" to be but did not want to give up Alan's masculinity. He had the best of both worlds and his wife in her own way had helpedhim to see the possibilities. Alan realized the way he would get pregnant was to have a date. He knew it would be one that his wife arranged and he wasn't sure exactly how it would turn out but he knew it was the next step in his progression. For Alan the "periods" continued. Each month with disheartened acceptance he found. More

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