As I entered, my arm was grabbed and I was pulled down into a chair. Itwas the devil herself, Aunt Joan. Her accomplice, Miss Gill sat downbeside me."...e can't go on like this Richard, can we?" Bloody right we can't."Ignoring my reply, she continued, "Your Aunt and I have decided to giveyou a chance to reform your character." She has no say over me! Mum said that I..." NUMBER ONE. You will stop all arguing and swearing." Her words cut meoff abruptly."Punishment for non conformance of this demand. I picked up two salmon steaks, a few scallions, a small jar of sesame seeds, a small jar of sesame oil and a head of cauliflower. She had garlic, carrots and broccoli at home."So, I take it you're not expecting to get lucky tonight," she said. "Neither of us is going to smell very good." No, I'm expecting to get very lucky."I said it slowly and with apparent sincerity. She raised her doubtful eyebrows. I got a confused look on my face."Oh, you were talking about sex. I meant I was going to be. More

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