The remainder of that trip to 116th Street was agony for me as I tried to focus on my textbook. When the doors opened at 116 I jumped up and ran for t...e exit. I have no idea what she did; I avoided looking at her at all. I did, however, keep my appointment to masturbate. I have a routine. My OCD is a convenience at times; it keeps me on schedule, at least. Occasionally my OCD is a trap that I can’t escape from, as it was the next morning when, at 8:58, I settled into “my” seat in the subway. " Doug, Doug, please listen to yourself. You are pushing too hard at things beyond your reach. You are running around doing things almost at random; you have no coherent plan. We all, every one of us, understand what you are trying to do and how it will benefit us when you succeed. But you are diluting your effort by jumping around from project to project without truly finishing any of them. You need to take the attitude that Charles uses: set a goal and reach it before trying something else.". More

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