. As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how...much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol. Put on some tracks and went to go lie on his bed. I wasn’t planning on falling asleep though, but I was so tired and sleep came instantly… I woke up much later with only the lights from the street outside. When I turned on my side, I was lying face to face with a sleeping Dean. He was only dressed in a shorts and bare-chested. I couldn’t resist and snuggled closer going in for a soft kiss. My eyes flew open though when that kiss was returned. He was awake, but I didn’t care, the kiss was so. More

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