" With that she left.The dancing commenced and there was me, left like a spare prick at a wedding! I stood watching as Wurzel and Mandy led off the da...cing, they really did make a handsome couple. Wurzel always scrubbed up well and in his grey morning suit with all the trimmings, diamond studs in his shirt and gold cuff-links he was the dog's bollocks (the best!). As for Mandy, well words fail me. She looked absolutely ravishing and had I been Wurzel I would have been dancing her around the. The answer to all your problems, honey chile." Animal!" I assumed she was kidding. "What do you suggest-- a nice friendly chimpanzee?" Hell no," she said. "A chimp is a mean son of a bitch. Worse than a man even. They'll bite the hell out of you, those bastards. A dog is the only animal for a woman. They can do every goddamn thing a man can do for you except soul-kiss, and I can take care of that department for you."She was good at kissing. That's what had me worried about myself. I enjoyed her. More

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