The table legs creak and slide with each impact.Skanky Snurf, village whore. It was bad enough that doing his ass was like screwing a windsock, but hi... bored and lippy demeanor today was really putting you off. You bring your hands down from his stumpy little knob of a tail to squeeze his blue butt cheeks together just to get some decent friction."Ugh...ugh...almost there." You groan. The escalating clapping sounds of flesh on flesh echo through the room."Bout time." He gripes."UNNNGH!" You cry. I can go to the gym in the week.’ The maitre’d brought our desserts and coffee, and I watched as Laura stirred her cappuccino thoughtfully. I sipped my drink, my heart starting to pound as I waited for the right moment. Finally, as Laura put her cup down I reached into my pocket, and her eyes widened, startled, as I slid to my knees. ‘Laura… Will you marry me?’ My fumbling fingers found the catch on the box, and I opened the lid to reveal the ring inside, the dark blue stone exactly the same. More

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