.here goes.. Very Sensuous storyline!! Must be more detailed in your description of locations. At work? in an apartment? He was awakened by a blinding...light… so sleep time had passed… was it night or was he at work and had fallen asleep? i am confused. Then you are in a kitchen so i assumed it was morning.. i was totally lost.. What exactly appeared on your screen that caused you to drive somewhere? More detail was needed to set the scene. The Bulk of your story is seducing this fantasy. “Now I know how a turtle feels,” I grumbled, getting quiet laughter from the others with me, as well as from the other end of my open radio. When I was in position to shoot at the threat I felt above me, I fired another magazine up through the floor and ducked under the shield. This time there was no return fire, and the firing upstairs stopped altogether.“They’re surrendering,” Walt announced excitedly. “What’s your status, tunnel team?” he asked.“No friendly injuries. We have six hostiles. More

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