His friend Gerry had told him they were probably all frigid. Declan had agreed, even though he wasn’t entirely sure what frigid meant, or how Gerry ...new. Declan hadn’t had a proper girlfriend yet. His mum had said there’d be plenty of time for girls and that he’d only turned seventeen. But Declan was in a rush. He wanted to have a girlfriend. He wanted to lose his virginity. He wanted to fuck a girl. He had watched the videos and he knew what they liked. He knew the technique. He knew how they. Infiltrating your way into sentence after sentence yet adding nothing. The uninteresting half of a semi-colon. An apostrophe that's lost its va-va-voom and fallen flatter than the souffle I attempted on 'The Bake Off' pre-heats. Quite why her gothic nerd-ness ever thought to stuff you into her halitosis snatchy snatch I'll never understand. A question mark I'd understand. That yummy hook. Dragging and scraping on her scurvy inner flesh. Caressing at that unmapped and uninvestigated place. More

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