I threw it into the fire so I would not pore over it, then spent stupid weeks trying to find significance in a book she had given me not long before: ...ilde’s De profundis. So laugh, why don’t you? Why not? Beckett was right: Nothing is funnier than unhappiness. * * * What happened? Why did it end? I don’t know. Maybe I was too intense, perhaps I wanted a commitment for which Jane was not ready. Perhaps I smothered us, turning adventure into domesticity. Perhaps, maybe I was too compliant, too. At first I'm pretty sure Dan was intimidated by Chris's body, having seen his set of abs right away and everything, but his amiability relieved him of that in time. I went a bathroom to change into the bikini and went straight to the pool, while Dan went in to change after me.Chris urged me, "water's not bad, stick your feet in."I giggled, and started walking in. Then Dan came rushing out, having not changed. "Sorry, have to go home and get on the computer for work."I could tell he wanted me to. More

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