* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing i... piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to. We had dinner at an Italian restaurant and then went back to her flat. At her place, she asked me to get comfortable and asked me if I would like some wine. I agreed. After a couple of glasses of wine and some small talk, she turned on the TV. I began to massage her shoulders as we watched some silly programs. She was sitting in front of me on the floor and I was on the sofa.As I was massaging her, I couldn’t believe how quickly I got hard. I was still unsure of what was in her mind, I was not. More

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