2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.4. Impotence... nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be. "Joanne will be by in just a secondto take some measurements." Thank you, Suzanne," Lisa said. The door closed, and Lisa began tounbutton her blouse."Does she know?" I asked, as I unbuttoned and removed my jacket."Who?" Lisa asked. "Suzanne?" Any of them." I don't know, sweetie," she said, sliding out of her slacks. "Do youneed help with your zipper?" I need help with more than that," I said, pulling off my wig. Becauseof the mock turtleneck on my dress, there was no way I could remove. More

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