“You’re right. I’m feeling very upset and in an ideal world I wouldn’t be here. I have come to drink to try and forget all about Nikki because...up in my room is a big fucking bed that I was expecting to share with her.”I finally looked across. The look on her face was one of sympathy. She reached over and touched my hand.“I’m really sorry for you.”“Thanks. I guess.”We talked it over, about how I now felt the last few years were a waste, and about all the signs I’d ignored. Eventually, we got. But Eileen was from neighbouring Guyana. So she had a British name and she spoke English.The Britishness didn’t go back far, though, because the population of the Guianas is mainly of African stock: they are the descendants of slaves. So they are black.I don’t know why, but I have always found black women attractive. Not just some black women, but most of them. That probably makes me some kind of fetishist, but I can’t help that and I don’t think it has had any detrimental effect on the black. More

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