I missed her. Badly. I knew I couldn’t live with her as an alcoholic whose actions regularly became utterly irresponsible after heavy drinking, but ... still wasn’t sure myself how I was going to live my life without her. Even as time passed, the hole in my heart never refilled and the wound refused to scab up, let alone begin to heal over. There were many, many lonely nights where, if Allison had phoned me, I would have forgiven her everything and taken her back at once without a second. It was warm again that night and we had the windows open as usual. The moonlight was shining into our room and it was directly illuminating Lee’s body as he slept peacefully in our tiny dorm room. Our beds were pretty close to each other so I could hear Lee turn over and mumble in his sleep. This night he made some new noises in his sleep. Lee sounded like he was gently moaning. The moaning sounded like he was having a pleasurable dream. My eyes opened in the middle of the night and I saw. More

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