I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told...a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified. "Fuck Dave don't get me pregnant" "I had the snip after the twins were born" 35 years ago. Jane had been baby sat by my k**s."Okay lets go get some dinner. I'm hungry" I said. We went and got some groceries at the supermarket and i paid. She cooked the steak great with some green veges. I read the boys a story and put them to bed. When I came back out Jane had been in the shower she stood wrapped in a towel. "We have to trim your bush. Get scissors razor and soap" I asked she raced off dropping. More

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