My soul is charred with tainted thoughts — constantly I find it wasting away into nothingness, therefore securing the personality of a less than hum...n creature. I find myself screaming on the inside, unable to break free of my pain. I wear a mask of contentment that grows weaker; my smile however happy it may appear is a charade- a fake twitch of the muscles for my audience. I feel angry, I feel unworthy, I feel caged and I feel empty. These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this. Kurt’s good looks and manliness excited me; I had to look away at times to calm my desire. I doubted I could ever attract a man as attractive as him. I accepted that he was Miranda’s, but I could still fantasize. Kurt had a devilish look about him. He talked about his vacation to the French Caribbean, and the topless female sunbathing that took place there. And about his wild friends. But I never could get him to talk about what he meant; and Miranda kept saying it wasn’t the right time. More

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