‘You are in a bit of a state, my dear. But first things first. Let’s deal with any shock. They do say the best remedy is hot sweet tea, though I w...s brought up to prefer a good tot of brandy. I think a hot toddy to start while we get you out of those clothes. After which I’ll brew a pot of the other. Earl Grey suit you?’ ‘Sounds great, Major. But what can I wear?’ ‘Oh, I’ve still got most of my late wife’s things. I’m sure there’s a gown or bath robe amongst them.’ ‘That would be most kind.’. A few more nicked from various forums, I’ll go through another page when you’ve used what you want from these!Nelson Mandela heard a knock at the door. A man with a clip board and a big lorry said “I’ve got 1000 car batteries for you” Better put them in the back garden” said Mr Mandela.The next day the same man came in the same lorry and said “I’ve got 600 car tyres for you” “Better put them in with the batteries then” said Mr Mandela.The next day the same man arrived with the same lorry and. More

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