"When the EMTs arrived, I released my grip on Mr. Lawson's crushed fist and went with Mr. Bancroft to the office. That's where I was told that I was b...nished from the school for a week and not allowed to play in the upcoming football game. This was all because of the arbitrary conditions set by the zero-tolerance for fighting rule. Am I bitter about this foolish rule that penalizes self defense? Yes! Am I bitter about being forced to miss a football game, thereby letting down my teammates? Yes!. My girlfriend dumped me and then I saw her favorite flower. Reminded me of this time she gave me a blow job. Now I’ll never have that again. Let me just go kill myself.’ Her voice changes back to normal and she makes a popping sound, ‘And just like that you have a New York Times’ Bestseller and winner of a fucking million awards.’ We laugh and commiserate about how difficult it is to be women writers. For a second, I’m not thinking about anything but the difficulty of getting my stuff read, let. More

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