Clad in a pastel pink satin bathrobe, with much enthusiasm, but littletalent, I sang the old Jimmy Soul song, "If you wanna be happy for therest of yo...r life. Never make a pretty woman your wife." I tossed therobe onto the bed and began the gymnastic performance needed to squeezemy body into a corset. As usual, fiddling with all those hooks and eyesdrove me to distraction, but my waistline needed all the help it canget, and Spanx simply don't provide me with the same electric buzz as alacy. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy MaryMother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear. More

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