This lack of connection both soured and excited me. That familiar high and low of the game we’d learned to play together this last half-year. Only t...is part was one I played only by myself. The bittersweet pain of exclusion and isolation as Jill frolicked and enjoyed her chosen male partner, the together part only happening later when she finally remembered me and came home. If she came home.The fact that Jill gave no physical sign that she was thinking of anyone but the man between her legs. Everyone was thought it was cute,and hada good laugh.What they didn't know is that when I was home alone, I would start todress a little, borrowing my sister's clothes(both were older) and evenwould pretend to smoke a cigarette. I found myself mesmeised by sight ofme in the mirror smoking and leaving the traces of lipstick on the end ofthe cigarette.But as I got older, I stayed away form that as growing up in the 60;s and70;s this was not part of my world, so I hid it way down inside.When I. More

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