I stared at the shadowy ceiling. The only light in the room seeped under my bedroom door from the hall. I lay there hoping my son's sperm swimming ins...de me would find an egg. But then other thoughts crept into my troubled mind."I enjoyed it," I scolded myself. "It wasn't supposed to be like that. All I wanted was another child. How could things have gone so wrong?"I lifted my head and looked around the bedroom realizing I was talking to myself. And then my head dropped and sunk into my. ” I tried to do the same when I described myself: A cute, curvy, African-American girl with almonds-shaped brown eyes - someone who loved life and wanted to experience all that I could. I didn't want anyone to think they were getting Halle Berry. But I was okay with my thickness and who I was. It was silly to pretend to be someone I wasn't.It was at an unusual time in my life. Remembering now, it was like another person, living another life. I had been living a celibate life. I considered. More

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