It's funny how certain situations make me think about our life together, me and Alan, and about my own life and why I am the way I am. I've thought ab...ut the 'dad' thing and I can see where a psychiatrist might say that has something to do with me being so unbelievably attracted to Alan. A pseudo-father figure, perhaps. The first time I put that train of thought together, it bothered me, but you know what? If what I have for Alan is 'abnormal', I don't WANT 'normal'. I know too many 'normal'. He pulled back and shifted the tobacco around in his mouth so he could speak.“You okay?” “Yes. More.”He pulled another four out of the pack, stopped to wave them under her nose. She sniffed and moaned. He broke off the filters and repeated what she had done with the other four. They smooshed their mouths together. Ten cigarettes in their two hungry mouths. It was ecstasy. After a couple of minutes, all the tobacco was soaked with their saliva, and they spit the wads into the glasses. “Want to. More

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