The attention my upscale appearance garnered ensured I wasn’t a past tense woman. I wanted men to notice my eyes, hair, neck nape, legs, clothes, an... breasts, walking by, entering a building, getting in or out of a car, I wanted visual attention, the opposite of when I was young. I smiled thinking about my Pee Che folder hiding once upon a time. Now I was the crudely referred to, attention whore. It was fun to flirt as a 40-year old woman but only if men flirted back. I made sure they did.With. Mr. Tyler... was there. That meant bad news. After every time Dad and Mr. Tyler talk to me, and give me something to drink, something changes. Like, all I know is I look at my old diary entries and they're filled with words I don't understand. So I wasn't all sunshine as I plopped down on my throne.Most of it was the usual... what did I think of this store or that thing. I told him how nasty those new headbands were they were selling down at the mall, and how much I loved my cotton candy. More

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