I’ll text you, okay? Don’t do anything rash.And if you do, I left a knife on the kitchen counter for you.Where are you?? Your housemates said they...haven’t seen you all day. What do you mean, you took off in your car and found a place to die?! What the fuck does that mean? Your ex is calling the police. Yes, she’s with me.She’s always with me now. Never leaving my side, like an obedient puppy.No, stay on the line with me. Please, don’t go. We’re so worried for you. Don’t kill yourself. Please,. ..no harm, no fowl." The following evening you find an email in your inbox from Josh. After a moments hesitation, you respond, answering a few questions for him. Within a few days, you've exchanged multiple emails with the couple. They ask for a dick-pic (to verify that you're at least average in that department), and a scanned copy of recent STD tests, which you fortunately had on hand after a scare a month ago (turns out it was just some minor chaffing due to the brand of undies you were. More

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