Soon a smiley-heart was flying through the ether to my first wife. The door opened and five little cowgirls ran into the room.“What is this?” I as...ed with my hands on top of my head and a big smile on my face.“Daddy! We’re cowgirls!” Margaret Erin announced as she did a spin around to show off, followed by her sisters.They were all wearing gingham skirts and flowered blouses that matched their hair color. Their boots were all shiny and made them all about two inches taller. The door opened. And i continue to think. Why have i not accepted myself as His sub? Why am i not good enough for Him? He may ask me this. Perhaps it is the simple fact that i have not accepted myself. And i wonder if i ever will. More time passes. He is just sitting there. i am acutely aware of His presence. i am still wishing there was a rock to crawl under when He finally says, "Turn around." i comply, keeping my head bowed. i am afraid of what i will see in His eyes, and am reluctant to show my face.. More

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