“Who’s that woman with Moishe?” asks the wife.“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.“Ours is prettier,” she replies.✧ ✧ ✧A JEW...SH DIVORCEA Jewish daughter says to her mother “I’m divorcing Nathan.” “All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece.”Her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman. You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance.. I closed my eyes and exhaled, and when I heard her movement approaching, it was the random chance of my shifting of body weight that allowed me to deflect her arm as she tried to bash me with a hammer. ‘FREEZE!’ She instantly froze, her momentum causing her to land awkwardly on the sofa, her face buried in the pillows. What did I forget? Did my initial command about doing the literal minimum not apply anymore? Maybe it elapsed much earlier, and she simply hadn’t tried to resist? Interesting.. More

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