So once again Lisa had come up with a fix for me. She started giving mesome of her friend's valium. Some days she would give me a half a pilland on ot...er days a full one. I'd taken a full one that Friday and I was feeling vary relaxed andmellow. I think that I may have taken another one after school because Iwas even more out of it than usual. Tammie and Linda had on there pepclub outfits and they had convinced me that I could ride on the pep clubbus because I'd bought a button. I didn't know. “I don’t have anything else to do. Josh makes sure I have enough money to live, but not much more. I’ve thought about going back to work. I’ve thought about ending it all, but then I think of the kids. But when Michael calls, I go. It’s mechanical. He fucks me, I get up and dress and go home, brain dead. I don’t even know why I go. He’s barely able to get it up anyway, he’s still all bruised and in pain. I think it’s about getting even now, in his mind.”There was even more silence at this. More

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