For 3 years, I oftenstole her worn panty or bra and masturbated in them, which actualy made me feel more like a pervert then actual dating a young gir.... Near her 18th birthday, we had a talk, in which she told me it would be nice to do it "old school"and wait for the marriage. While I wanted to fuck her brainless, I still agree to her demand. The night prior her 18thbirthday, her mother winked at me and said:"So, my little girl is gonna be a woman tomorow?" No,I answered, she wanna wait for. A different emotion stumbling somewhere below my notice. "Why would I hate you?" I can't understand what the hell is going on, so how could I possibly hate you?" I wanted to add, but didn't. I was drifting, aimless. I was floating away, never to return. I felt that chasm opening again, felt myself teeter at the brink ... and, god help me, I used this woman ... this girl ... as a rock to keep me from falling. I needed an anchor to hold me back from the abyss and she was the only one. More

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