Rebecca looked at me with wide eyed bewilderment. Up until 10 minutesago I was widely consider as a sweet, even delicate new girl mostlypreoccupied wi...h what I was wearing or how my hair looked. Eventuallyshe just shook her head and smirked "Are you wearing your Wonder Womanpanties?" Yes! Yes I am! And you'd better put yours on too, because girl, we aregoing to war!"For this next four hours we plotted our strategy. Did I ever mention mygirlfriend is wicked smart? She came up with several. My problem is that I need to be used, otherwise I have no value. I could live with not being loved as long as I was needed, even if to be needed meant being a whore and a slut then here I am. Then the marriage made the dream a possibility and if it was possible then it could someday be a reality and that fucked everything up. Now nothing is simple anymore. Hope has reared its ugly head. The real pisser is that I understand in my head that the dream is only a fantasy because I can’t be loved,. More

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