I wanted to ask you to come and meet her. If you had got on, I was going to ask if you and I could welcome her as an extra spouse in our marriage. I d...dn't expect your strong initial bad reaction, darling. You have always been a level-headed girl, able to talk sensibly over any problem, but this time I could not get a word in." It was shock, Ian, shock. One doesn't suddenly drop the social baggage of the past, like that! It has taken me a long while to come to terms with the presence of that. I had been beaten up, dumped, ignored for half the night by the cast of Casualty & generally abused by the whole fucking planet, so why shouldn’t the weather stick the metaphorical boot in too? I walked the five miles home. Two reasons: I had no chance of getting a taxi to pick me up in the mess I was in, but also, I had a perverse desire to prolong my self-pity. So I walked home &, about 4 a.m., crashed out, intent on sleeping through the rest of the weekend. That way it couldn’t get any. More

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