I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. T...e guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant. We all fall asleep. I have my arm around your waist and under your head. After a while, he gets up and starts to leave the room. I wake up and look at him. He tells me to go back to sleep and walks out. I start to fall back asleep. I move my one arm so that my hand rests on your hip. I stroke it softly in my sleep, kiss your neck lightly, and pull you closer to me slipping my hand down so that it lies on the bed snug to your side right under your breast. I fall back into a light sleep and wake. More

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