We could have saved a lot of money and heartache."Blair doubted it: "If you had known the truth, wouldn't you haveabandoned me and the family months ...go? What was so wrong with lettingyou believe that I was changing into a girl? Anyway, I actuallybelieved I had taken the ho-mones long enough to give me some smallbreasts for the rest of my life. In other words, that it was too latefor me ever to be 100 percent boy ever again. When Doctor Sent-Here-to-See told me I only had an allergy, I. With that, I step outside and close the door behind me. It's absolutelyamazing how I can put aside my own self, all that is Michael Caldwell,and assume another personality and life. It happens automatically,without any conscious effort from me. At times, I actually feel as if Itruly belonged here with these sweet, cuddly people who are not evensupposed to exist outside of a TV screen. I think of them as my realmother, my real sister and my real friends, until I remind myself thatthis is not who. More

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