"I promise. But...can I go out with Jordan? PLEASE?!"She thought, scratching her head. "I don't know," she replies. "I'm not too keen on the idea of m... son dating another boy."I rolled my eyes, folding my arms. "Mom!" I exclaimed. "It's MY life. You can't control EVERYTHING I do." I was ready to be slapped."Oh, my god, you're right," my mother sighed again. "You're right." She sniffled. "You...are...right. I can't. So...do whatever the fuck you want, cause I don't care anymore. Bye." And with. Each day I wonder. I wonder what it would have been like. To just have, the briefest of moments to be with you. To be a whole person again. To be a real person with a life again. To be what used to be me. I wonder about a life that can never be now. A life that, that by contrast, is so different than what I have now. I can not hope for this to be as I would like it. Doing so would mean not considering you and your situation. So instead I attempt to get through the day as best I can. I muddle. More

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