We shower and dress, fucking again in the shower. Bill takes me to breakfast before dropping me at my apartment. Nikki/Nick is not there but I can’t...take his pill yet anyhow, so I go in his room and get a clean bra & panties, slip on my jeans which don’t fit so well and a tee shirt. I have to put on a belt with the jeans, though the hips fit decently, then roll up the ends of the legs so they don’t drag. I sit down and read.Early afternoon, I take the second pill from the Plan B, and make. I'm soiled. I took my most precious gift – myself and gave it away to that animal.I can't tell you the reasons that happened other than to say, it had NOTHING to do with my love for you. You complete me like no other. I'll always love you. Just be assured that why you saw me doing those things were not because I wanted to. I had to!I doubt if I'll ever have nerve enough to actually mail this to you. Chances are, if I did, you would just destroy it without opening it. I can't blame you.Just. More

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