Since my too-serious childhood, this pattern has persisted into my adult life. I noticed that I was different at a young age, others seemed give thems...lves freely to the feral abandon of delight while I watched, nervously chewing at my fingertips and smiling when they did. It was not for a lack of trying that I was unhappy, indeed my attempts at contentment seemed so consuming that I ended most days exhausted and misery-rich with failure. A dull grayness rolled over the evening of my life as. During the week Matt was the 'man of the house', responsible for keeping everything working right and for helping his mother.The lake was pretty much their own as there were only about thirty permit camps around the lake and less than a quarter of them were occupied at any one time. It was common for Matt's to be the only boat on the lake when he took his daily run around the lake. Occasionally there would be folks from one of the other camps touring also, and sometimes some fishermen, but. More

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