I dream of you just as I fantasize about you, but with more passion than my conscious mind would ever allow. In my dreams, my room is much more elegan... than the plain bare walls that it has in the real world. It is no longer the room of a lonely, tired woman, but is now the boudoir of a sensual, desirable lover. In my dreams, you come to me, take me in your arms and kiss me deeply and passionately until I swoon. When my knees give out you wrap me in your arms and guide me to the settee that. Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the life I so desperately wish to live with him and only him. I think of a life full of unconditional love and happiness. I wish to come home to a house full. More

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