We laid in bed, exhausted from the weekend, and for the first time in a long while, I had confidence that we were in a decent place again. – Late ...hat night, I started to stir from a deep sleep. From the midst of a normal dream, he charged back into my conscience, first as a vague dark shape in a rhythmic movement, and becoming more clear as I got closer. I could hear her cries, unable to tell whether pleasure or pain, but could only see bits of her lighter skin pinned underneath his body.. I may start it just to see how easily it comes. Pun intended. +++ I don’t think it was Joe’s intention, but the shock of that day – the news of him leaving the country, his words, that kiss – was the beginning of the end of my malaise. It happened so slowly I didn’t recognize it until much later. But for the first time since Ben died I was feeling something else along with the anger or rage or sadness or depression that had been constant. Joe had sparked the memory of how it had been between us. More

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