At first, when Eric was dating Shelly, the garments were mild, such as a t-shirt with snoopy dressed as Santa or a pair of red plaid polyester dress p...nts. However, after they got married three years ago, the 'wearable' gifts he got more crass and risqué, such as a pair of Spongebob Squarepants boxers with his long nose centered over a certain area. Last year was even worse.Shelly and Eric had spent Christmas with her parents and one of the first gifts Shelly had popped onto his lap was a small. I wanted to appear non-threatening, but still be able to bring my hands up if need be."Hey, Dude, you know it's rude to igno-" He never had a chance to finish.Putting my long, muscular legs into action, I launched myself forward, closing the remaining distance and catching them by surprise, my right hand flying from my pocket into a fist as I swung. The snapping of cartilage echoed in the quiet parking lot as I drove my fist forward, sending the loud-mouth falling backward, laid out cold. I had. More

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