Yet the more sickening and masochistic they became, the more intoxicating and hypnotic they were. I knew that going outside the house whilst harboring...such dark thoughts would be chancing a perilously thin flimsy limb. So I swore I must never, ever lose my sense of reason and recklessly dress up and go out and tempt such a fate. Besides, I was never handed free opportune, so my muse was all that I had.… until ….A few months ago my wife and 3 daughters went up-state for a couple of weeks. Each day, I would stare on and on, into the heavens, waiting for that angel to come down. I aggressively, then tenderly, called for her love. Her sweet angel tan body, luscious and curved like a motherly swan rescuing me from my low self-esteem. I, in strange, theatrical madness cursed her for her lack of love profession, for loving my face, my hair, my strong, powerful body, but not that crude disgusting thing lurking in my pants. That silent, grotesque lump of God-given clay yet to be molded,. More

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