..and for helping me understand how expressing yourselfthrough how you look is not dishonest." I'm glad you don't think I'm being overly protective. S..., sport, whatare you having for dinner tonight?" Spaghetti and meatballs of course" I kidded, and Mom laughed at thejoke."Sounds good. I'll be going out with some of the old gang from work.So, when would you like me to call again?" Sunday night would be okay. It doesn't have to be every day." Right, then. I'll call after 8." Love you, Mom." Love. I am to be whipped mercilessly, until all of my body is covered with red stripes. And for what? No one who cares is here to see my pain; no one will see me struggle. Not even Paul, who is away for a meeting. By the time he comes back, all the marks will be gone. I cry and cry. Parker lets me cry without interruption until only intermittent sobs shake my frame. He has his first and only nice, spontaneous gesture to me. He brings some Kleenex and puts them to my nose. With his help, still. More

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