If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out-...f-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in. " "I love you, too."I held his hand as we made our way to the Baggage Claim, pausing every now and then to exchange kisses."So, what do you think of me after all these years? Am I what you expected?" I had only been on and off with pictures of me, and I knew he hadn't seen a recent one of me."You're beautiful," he said simply, "And -- of course I can't expect to know what you'd look like, but you fulfill all my expectations and more."I only squeezed his hand, and looked at him. He was serious,. More

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