We are all going back to school because it is the first day after the summer break. Comprenez vous?”“Yes, I see, but surely there isn’t really a...Hogwarts. It’s a story by JK Rowling.”“Don’t get me going,” exploded Ron. “Fucking JK Rowling made a chuffing fortune writing a load of bollocks about us, making us all look a right load of twats.”“Steady on Ron,” soothed his sister “at least JK put us on the map. I mean, who had heard of the place until she wrote about it?”“Yeah well at least we were. One another was married and demanded that her husband be allowed to watch if we had sex next time we met. We didn't do that because there was no next time. The third was very handsome, indeed, a 26 year old redhead but she had too many problems, obviously many of them economic, which she expected me to solve. I didn't.Then I met Nina. She was great in many ways except one big problem: she had a weird dog, which was the main reason for her boyfriend dumping her. I like dogs and had never had any. More

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