It was David, one of my cabin buddies. He was in New York."Dude!" he exclaimed. "It's on! Code Zebra!! It's really on!" Uh, what's on?" We had code wo...ds for disasters. But I had forgotten what this one was."Zombies man! It's on!" Right! I just caught a trout who's kind of a zombie. I thought it was dead but then it flopped around--" No, I'm serious! Go check the site, man!"So I assured him I would check it out. Reluctantly, I put the nearly dead fish back in the creek, packed up my gear and. Believe that he’s there. Then there’s light and the shower is still running. I leave it on even though the water bill is too high to pay. I like the sound of the water rushing over me. Let the water pour. Clean and hot and desensitizing, destroying prints and calluses, burning away bacteria, boiling needles to the surface of my skin. Mindless, hopeless activity. I sit in the shower without forgiven and need and lust and longing. The scars will never vanish. Never fade completely. But remind me. More

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