We knew about her eating disorder and tried to get treatment but nothing worked. She slowly starved herself to death. She weighed about sixty-five pou...ds when she died. My mother never recovered from it. About a year later I came home from school. There was a note that my mom had put a pizza in the oven for Dad and me. She had gone down to the basement and hanged herself.”“Oh, my God...” Tears flooded down her cheeks. “Don’t you see? You deny yourself your own grief ... but you can’t hide it. It was just the right thing to have picked. But though I wanted toreach out and take it, I did not. Held still. Or not quite still,because of a trembling -- in my knees? behind the curve of lower back?Weakness or fear, or maybe both, I couldn't say. Anticipation?I looked at it, and wanted. He looked at me, eyes opaque, the lines offace and mouth set in a butler's neutral gaze upon the world. Folly? Isee no folly, sir. Ma'am.I wait for him to say something, to explain himself, to push. Know. More

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