You know how some folks, archeologists and such, extrapolate that girls mature sooner than boys?”“Go on.”“Trish was the one that taught Froggy...and me how to ... um, you know.” Oops.Ms. Sloane tilted her head. Looking at me much like my mother and a certain aunt do from time to time. It’s a look that says ‘don’t dick around, tell me all.’ Or else.“Masturbate.” I sort of gushed it out, not a subject about which I now wished had never burbled to the surface, topic-wise... “Oh?”“She found out,. ”“And you have an orgasm?”“Sometimes.”“And that’s it? That’s sex?”“Duh! Yes!”I shook my head, “No. Not even close. Look, if that makes you happy, I’m cool with that. But that’s not sex in my mind. I mean, yes, it qualifies, barely, as sex, but that’s not enough.”“Barely? Either it is or it isn’t!”“Go back to Kansas, Dorothy. You can’t be Vesper to my James Bond.”“Why are you being such a jerk about this?”“You mean why am I being honest? Because anything else results in frustration or. More

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