John figured that anytime off of work was party time. He started going out without me. I knew that his friends were doing drugs and were pretty wild. ...e started to be gone all weekend and he said that he was expected to go on these parties with his co-workers. About 2 weeks ago he moved in with some teenybopper and said that I was boring and he wanted more out of life than working all of the time. I've made up my mind to come back home after the school year. I have a contract and can't get out. They never did have any answers for that question. So I had you there (rocking imaginary baby) looking up at me, and your mother being carted away on a gurney to some horrible place that I still can't even think to imagine. (Run hand through hair.) I named you Sarah Michelle. You were so beautiful there in my arms. You were so small. You looked up at me that first time and opened your eyes and I was mesmerized. I was crying over your mother and the nurse put you in my arms. I was watching her. More

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