There was a big red bow in one corner, held in place by the fanciest satin ribbon I had ever seen. The tag said, "For Mark, from the Claus family." I ...ondered how I had missed it. I started in wonder at the beautiful package. Finally, mom prompted me: "Aren't you going to open it dear?" I tore open the package, lifted the top of the cardboard box, and found the most lovely red velvet dress. It had a beautifully detailed lace collar. There was also a set of white tights in the box, and a pair of. On such occasions I am to clamber over the Royal torso, presenting my backside to the princess's visage. It seems to me most improper, but Her Highness has indicated to me that she finds that very impropriety most gratifying. And so it is that I regularly exchange the musky, ammonia scent of the Hirsutian Royal bush, for the yeasty cocktail that emanates from the Anus Mirabilis or Royal anus.At first I was very dainty in avoiding contact with the puckered rim of one of so high a rank, but on. More

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