I took a quick shower and I practically fell asleep when my head hit the pillow.I woke up a few hours later. It was past 1am by my cellphone when I ch...cked. I should’ve slept until morning but with everything going on, I felt completely out of sync.I also had a strange dream. I dreamt of Eric, my son, pulling me in from the balcony. He kissed me in the dream and it felt so vivid and wonderful. His hand snaked down under my jeans in the dream and I should’ve stopped him, but I didn’t. I let it. I answered it and said "Harvey, just...just go away please" so I hung up the phone and my thoughts turned to tears I kept thinking I'm 20 years old and I'm dealing with this kind of stuff already. I drove over to Harvey's apartment and I posted the picture of me, Harvey and Edvard and I drove home.when I got home Harvey messaged me again and it said "you spineless son of a bitch" I messaged Harvey back saying "what am I meant to do Harvey face this head on? when I know I'm going to lose this. More

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