'No. But I try. I try like fuck... It's so important to me not to devalue the experience. If I lie naked on my back, my legs apart and my cunt open, a...low another human to lie on top of me and enter the most intimate part of my body with an intimate part of his... then gaze into his eyes and see his pleasure, his gratitude, while understanding he is seeing the same in mine... why would I not give my all in trying to recapture that moment - and all the moments that led up to it - as faithfully. That conclusion was not logical, yet a truth. Machines overload in situations such as this and melt down. Humans just accept the answer and go on to the next problem. I was illogically proud of myself for not melting down, though if I had, there would have been no I to know. Where did pride come from to affect an illogical but actual 'self'? Who am I now and why am I telling this?"'You're Phoebe and because I told you to. Keep going." I accepted it and moved on to the next problem just like the. More

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