The afterglow of my secretive orgasm was replaced by a sudden irrational panic that she'd heard me, and I hurriedly cleaned myself up so I could wash ...y hands and get out before we crossed paths.Walking back into class I felt like what I'd done was written all over my face, but once I calmed down I had to force myself not to grin like an idiot. It was almost like how I'd felt lying spent on the pillow after my very first orgasm - this was a whole new world of possibility! I did it again the. Something precious had been replaced by a guilt complex. It had also induced a deep sense of shame into my sexuality.Much later in married life, I discovered that only a guilt-ridden fantasy of Dan allowed me to climax fully.For me sex was a cocktail which included a shot of Dan and a shot of Shame.But since my husbands death, all that had been forgotten: until Dan had came to stay with us.While I stare into the darkness of the window I become aware of the reflection that’ s before me; of the. More

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